like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
