if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
