I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so let's talk penis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
