So drunk its hurt
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
