he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
