like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
