At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
