I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
