in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
