It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
