They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
sarcasm needs its own font
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
