she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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