If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize