its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
