If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize