$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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