taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish there were birth control emojis
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize