Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
