How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
they need to just BURY HIM!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
