Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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