I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
