hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
