How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
