so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize