Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
