i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
