just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
whose parrot is this?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
