Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
