break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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