So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
whose parrot is this?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
