I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
