He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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