She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize
