In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
