Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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