it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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