At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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