I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
did i just pee glitter
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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