I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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