bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
