I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
