some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
