they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
