I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
