Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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