fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
What a dumb baby whore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
did you just send me my own nude
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
