She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
