Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
