I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
