I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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