At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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