Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
