CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
