I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
