Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
