We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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