We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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