she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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