i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
