Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize