all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im part way to drunk.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
